Life, interrupted….again.
I’ve got a lot on my mind, so I’m going to be better about posting on here after a year-long hiatus.
For those who remember, I am on the USS HALSEY, having left for a deployment in September of 2010 and returning in March of 2011. I missed numerous holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Halloween), birthdays (Colbi’s) and even the birth of my baby boy, Logan Reilly Shayne Himebaugh (LRH for initials, Shayne in honor of my sister Shayna).
This year was very hectic and fast-paced, as we fit what is normally an 18-month schedule into 8 1/2 months, and deployed again in November. So, I’m missing the same things (less Thanksgiving and Halloween) that I missed last year with Logan’s first birthday in place of his birth (obviously). I will return in the summer.
For those keeping score, this is deployment #5 for me, and as of today I have spent 1,065 days of my life underway.
Please know that this is the first of many new posts here. I want to get my thoughts and feelings out there, and put up a history of my duty stations. I’ve been in the Navy for 14 years now, it’s very hard to believe…
My 2010 Indian Ocean 3-Day for the Cure
I had originally signed up for the 2010 Chicago and Michigan 3-Day for the Cure™ events, due to the fact that they were during when I was supposed to transfer, and if I did the one in Michigan, that gave my sister a chance to come cheer me on (of course, that wasn’t in the cards anyway). Prior to our wedding in April, we transferred those registrations to the San Diego 3-Day, one in my name, one in Mary’s name, and then we solicited donations as wedding gifts. As it ended up, I left shore duty a few months early and transferred to the USS Halsey, and was deployed during the San Diego 3-Day. Mary is 7 months pregnant, so was also unable to walk, so I transferred one of those registrations (mine) to the 2011 San Diego 3-Day for the Cure™ , and we changed Mary’s over into my name as well, just to continue my participation for this year.
Instead I decided that I would do the walk on the treadmill while underway. I’m calling it my 2010 Indian Ocean 3-Day for the Cure. My goal was to make it a Public Relations/Public Affairs story, both for my ship and for Susan G. Komen, and I think it has done so.
Before I could officially participate in the walk, I had to complete the fundraising, and I’d like to thank those who donated, by name: Donna Meyer, 60 Mile Men, Jacqueline & Michael Ashley, Joe Bainbridge (a fellow walker and 60 Mile Man), the Batten Family, Gary and Cyndie Brininstool, Joe Caballero, Nolita Cameron, Kathy Cannon (a survivor and fellow walker), Matt Case, Susan and Sheri (fellow walkers), Dawn Couchman, the Drumm Family, the Erskine Family, Kelly Grim, Diane Himebaugh, Wendy Holibaugh and Karen Adair, Donald and Jean Klaiss, Katheryn Klaiss, Leila and Neil Klaiss, Melanie Klutts, Michael Landesman (3-Day Moto Crew), the Malpica’s, Linda McLemore, Janice McQuay, Jennifer Monroe, Sherry Mow, the Newland Family, the Newton Family, Lisa Passino, Scott Patterson, Margaret Perkins and Erin Fenoll, SherryLynn Philyaw (who did her 3-Day on the Flight Line while also deployed), Cheryl Pochapin, the Ray family, Laura Rench, Keith Rudnick, Peggy Schnepp, Laurie Sperry, Kevin Thomas, Carol Vanderploeg, Dan Vickery (my brother in law), Emily Webb, Trixie Wint, Dave and Mary Wood, and Vonnie Wood and Bill Attleburger. Hopefully I reflected everyone accurately and linked to who I could. I could NOT have done without every single one of you, and I express my sincerest gratitude for helping me raise money to end this nasty disease that has taken too many people from us.
I’m not going to lie, It was incredibly difficult for several reasons. First off, I did absolutely no training, and I didn’t have good shoes (I didn’t anticipate deciding to do this, or getting the approval to do so).
Normally during the 3-Day events, I get my blisters toward the middle to end of the second day of walking. This year, I had them within the first couple of hours, which made every step afterward difficult. By Day 2, I’d decided to walk without shoes to help avoid getting new blisters (you can see it in one of the pictures), and that helped tremendously-although it didn’t do anything to stop the blisters I already had from getting worse.
The second difficult aspect of this was that I had to do it in my (limited) off-time from working, as I have to be on watch/working between 12-16 hours a day, with meetings thrown in there as well. I definitely sacrificed sleep in order to do this. The third difficult aspect was simply that I was on a treadmill, alone, staring at the same wall for nearly 15 hours of walking.
It was significantly less emotional and exhilarating than walking with 1800 other people (or even the 800 people I walked with last year in Arizona), while being cheered on by thousands. I just kind of went in and did my thing without any fanfare. It was probably easier to have done it this way this year, as I just lost my sister earlier in the year and I know that the San Diego walk would have been significantly more emotional (not that whatever walk I decide to do next year and each successive year won’t be). Overall, I’m very proud to have achieved this goal.
I was going to write some witty blog about the walk-I started out tracking my speed, the amount of calories I was burning each hour, my favorite song each hour, taking a picture of the treadmill display,
stuff like that…then I realized that it was incredibly tedious and monotonous, and just as I would find it boring to write it, others would find it boring to read it. I went about 4.0 MPH from the 3rd hour on (the first two hours, I was trying to go too fast, which may have been a contributing factor to the quick blisters). I was walking in hour-long spurts, and taking a stretching break, and also refilling my water, in-between; essentially, I was burning the same amount of calories every hour. And, my favorite song that hour? Well, I might as well just rattle off 15 different songs from my iPod to cover the 15 hours, it would be about as effective.
Of course, I’m already registered for next year, and for anyone who would like to get a head start on sponsoring me can at www.the3day.org/Mr.December2010. Thus far, I’ve raised $9847.84 for this cause in my 3 years of walking, next year my goal is $3,000 ($700 over the minimum), and I know I will make it. I think I’ve shown that I will find some way to walk, even next year when I’m unsure where life is going to take me at that point.
I have, obviously, received a great deal of support for this endeavor, both on Facebook, on the 3-Day Message Boards, from my team, the OB Walkers, and from nearly everyone else that has heard my story.
And, from Susan G. Komen foundation as well.
This first email quote is from Staci Roos, who is the San Diego event coordinator and I’ve met a few times (she’s also the one who thought of me to carry the “My Sister” flag at last years’ ceremony:
Hi Luke,
Congratulations on your most recent 3-Day experience! What an amazing weekend – you missed out on some serious rain that made it more challenging here this weekend as well. I can’t imagine doing 60 miles on a treadmill with few distractions and few people to chat with – so I know you faced similar challenges in your 2010 event. In the end, we’re all victorious!
I know Roxanne and your OB Walker teammates have probably told you that during the Camp Show, Jenne filmed the walker’s reaction to your story. The response brought tears to every eye. Even though you weren’t there to see it, please know that every single walker was wishing you the love and strength to complete your 3-Day journey and respecting your wish to honor Shayna’s memory in this way.
I’m waiting to get the details on where the film has been uploaded so I can share the link with you…
Thank you so much, Luke. I hope Mary is feeling great!
Kindly,
Staci
The second is one of a couple of others that I received from others at Susan G. Komen:
Hi Luke!
Your e-mail regarding the 3-Day was sent to our coaches office who posted it for all our company (I’m the Field Coordinator for the Philadelphia walk) to read since you are VERY inspiring. How amazing that you are walking the 60 miles even though you were deployed before the event…I just wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you for everything you did to raise money for this cause, for reminding us why we all do what we do and, of course, for what you do for our country. Happy Holidays and I hope you are home soon.
Lisa
This was a great experience, and although I missed another interesting one in San Diego (RAIN-in southern California!), I will always hold this one close, as I do every single walk.
The in-between….
Baby Boy Himebaugh
So, in the meantime, I need to catch everyone up on some things. First and foremost, when I left in July, it ended up only being for a few weeks. Our mission changed, and we came back home for nearly a month before actually deploying. That definitely worked out in our benefit, because we will end up with a regular 6-month deployment instead of the 8-9 months. Essentially we were coming home the same timeframe next year regardless. So, we got a month back home in there. I’ll be honest, I didn’t necessarily want to come home (we’d already “left”, and it’s easier just to stay gone and get it over with), but I’m glad we did because that gave me more time with my family.
And, the big news (speaking of family) and I can’t believe I didn’t blog about it before I left…As you have probably guessed by the accompanying picture, we’re having a baby! I know, probably for anyone who reads this who knows me, this is not new news. We let people know back in July (probably right after my last post). I’m very excited, and although I have a son already in Devin, it’s great to know that I actually could produce a boy after having two girls! LOL.
That’s all, expect more postings in the coming days, as I have a new and exciting adventure to talk about….
Adoption
The first Himebaugh Family pic
I filed for a step-parent adoption of Devin shortly after we returned from getting married in Michigan in April. Luckily, I was able to use Navy Legal to draft up the paperwork before everything was official, so it was ready to go. We were prepared for the adoption to drag out for the bulk of my deployment, as they had told us up-front that it would likely be between 9 months and a year. A good portion of that was because they may have had to make an effort to find the father, who was never named on the birth certificate and has never made an effort to be in Devin’s life.
The fact that I was in the military and deploying actually helped our case. We got all the documentation required (birth certificates, marriage certificate, divorce decree) around and got the necessary paperwork turned in fairly quickly, and for whatever reason, we must have done everything right. When we were finally interviewed by our case worker from Health and Human Services, things started looking promising that this would be done quickly. It was mostly innocuous questions for me (I guess she got more in-depth with Mary however), as she asked about my drug history, my job, my criminal record, what Devin and I do together and why I love Mary. Nothing too incredibly difficult. The only other thing that sticks out from that interview was that she did ask if we planned to tell Devin he was adopted, and I said that we did. They recommend not keeping it a secret, and I agree 100%. I’m not trying to deny the first two years of his life by any means.
They typically don’t advocate adoption when the child has lived with the adoptive parent for less than two years…well, Devin’s not even two years old yet, so that wasn’t possible. However, upon learning that Mary and I had known each other for over 5 years and had lived together for almost a year, our caseworker recommended it go through right now regardless of the fact that we had just gotten married. She must have seen something in us (she interviewed Mary and I separately, then Devin in with Mary, but that was more of a formality as he’s still a little guy and can’t talk much…) that made her know that this wasn’t some fleeting marriage and that I really care for Devin. She told of us her recommendation and told us to call the court in about two weeks, let them know that I was deploying and to try to get in there before I left.
After finally reaching the court after they’d processed the documentation, they scheduled us to come in the next week. We didn’t really know what to expect heading in, and we’d warned the girls that this was court and to “not speak unless spoken to directly by the judge”. As we were waiting outside and in line, we noticed that the other families that went in before us were coming out fairly quickly, so we were excited that it may not be that involved. And, honestly, it wasn’t…we went in, the judge was very nice, had us sign the paperwork, signed everything to make it official, and gave us a certificate for Devin that says that his name changes from Devin Klaiss to Devin Himebaugh (which we’ll put up in his room to commemorate this day). Less than 5 minutes, and everything was official! They then took a picture of us on the way out, the first picture of our “new” family.
I had never anticipated things being that easy, but I sure am glad that they were. Fifteen days before he turns 2, the adoption is official, and I have a family that all shares a common last name, which is something that I wanted very much. I love the little guy, and I’m the only father he will ever know, so it’s just fitting that he has my last name.
Overwhelmed
My new ship, the USS Halsey
For instance, for my first two deployments, I was married to someone who was also in the Navy. The first deployment was difficult, not only because it was my first, but because it came only about 4 weeks after I’d arrived in San Diego, and I had a 3 1/2 week old baby (Justyce). Luckily, I had a couple of months notice on it though, so it wasn’t totally unexpected. The second was a piece of cake (same ship, so I knew what to expect), although then I had another very young baby (Colbi) who was only about 2 1/2 months old. Of course they were both difficult because I was leaving my babies behind, but the thing is, when they’re that young, they don’t even remember anyway, and they adapt fairly quickly when you return. The easiest part? With leaving behind my then-wife, I didn’t have to worry about getting things situated before I left-I just packed up and shipped out.
The 2007 deployment was far different, as I had been divorced/separated for 5 years and lived on my own (with the girls every-other-week). I had to pack up everything I owned that wasn’t coming with me and put it in storage, including my car, by 5pm the day before I left. This obviously made for a lonely night before my morning departure, as everything was in storage and I had an empty apartment that the girls and I were staying in. We went to Outback for a final meal, partially to wish me off and partially just because I couldn’t make any food anyway, as my fridge and cupboards were bare. I borrowed a car and kept a pillow and a blanket for each of us, and we slept on the floor of the living room which was then an empty apartment. The pillows and blankets then went to the girls’ mothers house while I was gone. The most difficult aspect was that my daughters were then 6 and 9 and old enough to understand/realize that dad was gone.
Considering I’m married again this time and don’t have to fit everything I own into a 10′ x 15′ storage space, you would assume that this deployment would be easier to prepare for. That is by far not the case…it actually has made things more difficult, and I love her to death, but my new bride is completely new to this Navy deployment thing; and the first underway she’ll have to endure is for 8-9 months. Talk about a “trial by fire”…Not to mention the fact that there’s a baby on the way and I won’t be home for the birth.
This deployment is already more stressful than the others, as I’ve had so much to do and have to make sure that I leave my wife with everything she needs (Power of Attorney, contacts for Navy services, etc.). Having never experienced this before, it has been very hard on her to accept the reality that I’ll be gone until next year, we don’t know where I am going or when I’m coming back for sure, and I can’t typically tell her where we are. It’s not easy being married to a Sailor, and I admire Mary just for even attempting it.
I made a list weeks ago of all that I had to do prior to departing…I check on-board the ship today, and leave next week, and I have no idea where I am on that list. Effectively, I have 3 days left; today is the last “free” day where I have to accomplish things, tomorrow we’re doing our day of celebration, and Sunday we have Devin’s birthday party and it’s my last day to finish up what I need to do before returning to work until we depart-that’s it.
Will we survive? Sure, we’ll survive, and in 8-10 months, when I come back, we’ll re-adjust to life and be relish the time until my next set of underways and next deployment. I know this, because I’ve done it before. No, the re-adjustment isn’t easy, but we’ll do our best. And, no, doing work-ups next year before my next deployment (which will be my 5th) will not be easy…but we’ll survive.
Anyway, I started this blog the other day because I was so overwhelmed with everything I needed to do. It’s been a few days, I’ve accomplished a lot, but I’m still overwhelmed and I’m sure I will be for the next few weeks as Mary and the kids adjust to me being gone, as I adjust to a new ship (and a new job/position on a ship) and being underway again, especially for so long.
Overwhelmed is probably an understatement…
